


We can keep this easy, babe

by lunatica



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Season 3, Ship Study
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28818963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunatica/pseuds/lunatica
Summary: “Is something the matter, T —”Toni felt that same excruciating pain resurface with full force in her chest. Not willing to talk, she cut Cheryl off with a deep kiss. Neither said anything else for a long time. Messy sheets on the bed, partly scattered on the floor, together with Cheryl's hoarse voice and the subsequent limp in her walk when everything was done were the only indications of the hours elapsed.The only indications of Toni's partially intact pride.-----Or: the trials of their relationship in Season 3 through Toni's eyes.
Relationships: Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title's from Kiana Ledé's Easy Breezy.

**I.**

While most people were used to Cheryl Blossom, resident HBIC of Riverdale High, at times it required utmost effort to look at her and see _just_ that. Cheryl was _so_ , so much more than that. But what other people usually missed was the very same side so freely given to her, willingly — just like now. 

"You, mon petit amour," Cheryl began after carefully placing the ornate tray she held in her hands on the dresser, which sat beside her canopy bed. Sitting gently beside Toni, she proceeded thoughtfully, "are officially on bed rest.”

Cheryl soon sought her hand, rubbing it in a gesture of comfort. For someone who grew up in an environment as bereft of love as she had, this careful side of hers never ceased to amaze Toni. She could only be grateful for being able to coax out Cheryl’s most genuine side. Hopefully, she would still be able to do so in the future.

"I've brewed you a pot of vintage narcissus tea. And our family physician, Dr. Calligari, is on call, should you feel another spell coming along."

Toni felt a warmth in her chest constricting her heart, and couldn’t help but smile, or exhale, with the rush of affection that seized her whole. Cheryl was so good to her. She was taking such good care of her, being so attentive, patient and kind, that it was hard to control the almost feverish impulse of kissing her in the tenderest way she knew how. 

When was the last time someone cared so much about her? Toni wondered — as she watched that beautiful and thoughtful face of hers, the way luxurious curls fell on delicate shoulders — if she was enough for Cheryl. If she alone was enough to make this last forever.

"I'm feeling much better, Cheryl." And, much like being shaken and pulled out of a pleasant dream, she remembered miserably why she couldn't show Cheryl how much she appreciated her. She got apprehensive, "But what if what happened to me is contagious?"

For a second she was fascinated by the sight of Cheryl tucking some locks of hair behind her ear, but her gaze met hers again as soon as she heard her whispering so delicately, with incredulity.

"Oh, TT." Then Cheryl's face twisted into the most devoted expression Toni has ever seen on her face. " _Ship_ 's fever couldn't keep me away." She heartily assured her, as if it should be obvious. "My four-poster bed is _your_ four-poster bed. Stay here for as long as you like."

Despite being in the same position for several minutes on end, Toni's heart raced inside her chest. She knew she was looking adoringly at Cheryl, feeling every bit as earnest as on the brink of their first kisses. What shouldn't surprise her at all — after all, Cheryl never needed much to take her breath away.

It was only because she was watching her so closely that she noticed slight traces of nervousness before she spoke again.

"Even... _permanently_?"

Toni blinked. Even if they had, technically, lived together for the last months, somehow making things official left everything more real, committed, and worrisome... She didn't dare get her hopes up before getting confirmation she had, indeed, understood right. That Cheryl was ready to take on such a big step.

"You mean, like..." Toni shrugged her shoulders, trying to hide under a facade of indifference while gathering enough courage to clarify, "Move in with you?

Now... Toni wasn't as outwardly expressive as Cheryl was (not even close), but that moment took her to the limits of unexpressiveness as her whole body seemingly grew motionless to the extreme, like a taut rope about to snap.

"I'm cuckoo bananas for you, _obvi_." And the way Cheryl leaned toward her, her luxurious hair cascading over her shoulders, the way she smiled and spoke and looked up, in such a Cheryl-like way, made Toni melt all over. A glowing smile fixed on her face, with no plans to disappear for the nearest future. Oh, how she loved her _so_. "Won't you move in?"

The last plea was like the nail in the coffin. Irresistible and endearing as Cheryl was, begging her with that tone, so sweetly... Toni didn't even know if it was possible to deny it, be what may. She just wished there was a way to repay all the care Cheryl showed her... 

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, fresh memories from the previous semester pummeled into her mind in flashes. A wave of indignation and protectiveness swept over her, invigorating the vows she had made months ago only to recede again. She swore to herself to spend the rest of her days defending Cheryl's strong and loyal heart, determined to protect her from all the nightmares her insane family had already subjected her to — and, without a doubt, would again in the future. Whatever else may come, too.

"As long," and nothing in the world compared to Cheryl's genuine, affectionate smile when Toni tucked the still loose locks behind her ear, cupping her face shortly after. "As I'm the _big_ spoon."

Ok, maybe that sweet giggle compared to her real smile. But no reward has ever been as priceless, nor has pride ever been as delightful, as right in this moment.

They fell on the bed, attachment at every touch and ecstasy in the air. And if the rest of the day went by without them leaving the room, neither of them realized, lost in the euphoria of their impassioned hearts.

**.....**

**II.**

There were some (many) reasons for Toni to love Cheryl. Such as, but not limited to, her charming and endless flattery, rich in gallant praise; romantic and chivalrous gestures; affectionate nicknames that never failed to elevate her self-esteem and bring a smile to her face. But perhaps all the motives converged in a single big one — the insight came to her attention at the unlocking and creaking of Cheryl's bedroom window. The love she felt for her at that moment consumed her completely, radiating in waves off herself.

It was with this new elucidation that Toni found herself stepping on the window seat, back inside Cheryl's room, and then skirting around the bed while watching her remove the black cat mask, which previously covered the top half of her face, to give way to a broad, blinding smile. 

The both of them were still excited by the thrill of the night when they enthusiastically emptied the bag with their loot on top of the bed. Cheryl sidestepped its edge while holding one of its poles in a rather predatory stance. A mischievous glow highlighted her fiery eyes, which shamelessly ran through Toni's body. She watched her with an amused look, already waiting for the clever and insinuating comment to drop.

"You make an _extremely_ sexy Robin Hood, TT." And _there_ it was. Toni rolled her eyes with a seemingly permanent smile stuck on her face, always amused by her antics — Cheryl never disappointed. "Stealing from the rich to give to, _well_..." Toni was already so very captivated without the aid of her tongue catching between that mischievous smile that so charmed her... imagine after that. " _Us_."

That was exactly it: that, right there, was exactly the inescapable reason why Toni loved her. The way Cheryl made her feel at the home she never knew; comfortable, happy and at peace with herself. It didn't matter if they were risking their asses in a stunt like this, or spending the day chatting away and making love to each other. All with a finesse as sweet as it was seductive, addictive. The irrevocable way they got along so well and seemed to be the perfect fit for each other.

But, at that moment, none of the reasons above came even close to the supreme allure of these foolish impulses she had every so often.

"You're so crazy." Toni, no doubt with a dreamlike expression all over her face, claimed.

Cheryl didn't even try to deny it. _Unbelievable_. Instead, the previous smile gave way to one of conformity as Cheryl moved some locks away from her face. Toni would be shaking her head weren't for the distance between them still seeming so long... an issue she readily took care of.

She held the front pockets of Cheryl’s black jumpsuit shorts, who momentarily followed Toni’s movement with her gaze before putting a hand on Toni's arm.

"I love you." She said looking Cheryl deep in the eye, suddenly serious. 

Though she may not have had a conventional or ideal home, at least she didn't have to suffer through the horrors of the Blossom family. Understanding how much this might mean to Cheryl, Toni didn't want to give her any reasons to doubt her, to doubt the love she had been deprived of for so long.

And the way her eyes lit up, the genuine smile that blossomed on her face, the affectionate way her hand roamed her arm... it all made her heart expand inside her chest, sending a chill through her breasts all the way to her wrists.

"I love you." Was Cheryl's soft, heartfelt reply.

Toni didn't wait any longer before taking the initiative to open her jumpsuit, savoring the moment as she unzipped it slowly. Cheryl, in turn, seemed to have another idea in mind. The two of them fell onto the bed, on top of the money they had stolen, laughing at Cheryl's impatience in contrast to Toni's cool, beyond how abruptly she had jumped on her.

And if those same words were uttered several more times throughout the night, only the two of them would know. 

**.....**

**III.**

If she had to choose a single word to sum up the last few days, Toni would damn right choose "injustice". Absolutely nothing that came out of them could ever be considered fair.

Although she understood well Jughead's position — truly, she did —, his resolution hadn’t been fair to those who had to deal with the harsh reality which they had been left with. That's not even addressing the setbacks that arose in the badly explained absence of their so-called "leader". 

What a joke. She for sure agreed with Cheryl when she said that day that Jughead's eagerness to demand from them the responsibility he himself hadn't had was ridiculous. Why couldn't the new rules start to apply from then on? 

Because it's bullshit, that's what it is.

Because it wasn't fair to Fangs, whose situation was so much worse than Toni's and ended up becoming a side effect of Cheryl's antics. And as much as she herself had taken part in Cheryl's petulant theft and even enjoyed it too, it wasn't fair that she, a Serpent by bloodright, had been exiled by something that could easily be changed.

And unfair still was the recent death of Cheryl's uncle Claudius, too. Toni had had to swallow hard any harboring dissatisfaction of this whole situation with the gang in order to be properly by Cheryl’s side as her emotional support. Yeah, especially considering that her grief had been much more for the peace her family had experienced in that short period of time, surely to be broken hereafter, than any bond she might have one day formed with him.

Thus, as the days went by, the anger and nonconformity that once bubbled so close to the surface, just waiting for the right moment to burst, grew cold, giving way to a resentment more directed at Jones than Cheryl, though hers was also there.

If the roles had been reversed, being Cheryl (who was the most emotional and hot-headed of the two), no doubt she would've already blown up, not giving a damn for anything else. Unless the matter was with Toni; then it would probably result in a mild discussion between the two of them, since Cheryl never was as heated with her as with the others, always meek in her company alone. 

But she wasn't Cheryl, and so, decided to leave it there. After all, she herself wasn't innocent, or a victim of this dilemma. Toni had made her own decisions and would follow through with them, accompanying Cheryl wherever she went. 

Now she just had to deal with those choices.

The worst part of this situation, perhaps, was the absence of her friends, their comradeship and the community. After having spent so long with them, esteeming them as the supportive and accepting family she never had, serving and defending them... after all of this, she still found herself displaced once more.

After all, if something as certain as the Serpents were to her can come to an end — as if it was nothing more than a phase in her life —, who's to say that the romance between Cheryl and her couldn't come as well, eventually or suddenly?

**.....**

**IV.**

They were still lying in bed, having recently woken up after a revitalizing section of making out last night. Not for the first time Toni wondered how she had been so lucky as to be the person Cheryl let herself be loved by.

(Although she also thought it was really sad how no one had ever looked beyond the facade Cheryl always put on in front of others, Toni couldn't help but feel happy that she was the one to finally do it).

"Mmmm." The small satisfied groan brought a smile to Toni's face, who snuggled lovingly under Cheryl's head upon hearing it. She closed her eyes, content as well, despite how much she would miss the sight of Cheryl's ample bust and the athletic leg covering hers. "Feels so good to sleep in a real bed, doesn't it? Far away from the rural horrors of Tent City?"

Toni felt a pull on her chest.

"Well," She began, her voice still a little hoarse from sleep, words coming out a little tangled up. "I don't miss the cold or the mud, that's true. But..." Her gaze faced up, fixed on the bedroom ceiling. The image of her friends came to her mind, promptly followed by glimpses of what they would be doing now. She took a deep breath. "I don't know. I miss the gang, babe".

But before either one of them could say anything else, both of their phones went off with notifications. Toni just grabbed hers from where she was a little farther down on the bed, while Cheryl had to stretch and lean over it to reach her own, since it was on the dresser by the bed. 

Cheryl sighed.

For several seconds, the room, now solemn under the gloomy air, was in total silence, in contrast to the clear and pleasant day with which they had woken up to. The only sound came from outside, where the melodious morningsong of the birds prevented an abysmal terror from completely engulfing the two of them.

"Oh, my God, our SAT scores." Toni said, at last.

They stared, transfixed, at the little screen in front of them, neither of them having yet had the courage to see their scores.

"I _pray_ mine are good enough for Highsmith College." Cheryl finally broke the spell and delicately dropped the phone onto her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, Toni saw Cheryl turn her head toward her. "Women of my family have gone there for _generations_. I _don't intend_ to break Blossom tradition."

Suddenly, the day wasn't so nice anymore and the room, previously gloomy, now seemed stuffy. Toni uncomfortably watched Cheryl sigh, bracing herself to open the result. She wetted her lips while waiting for an answer.

"Much like Desert Hearts, my score's not perfect, but it's close.” And once again Cheryl turned her attention to Toni, who couldn't help but smile back, truly happy with Cheryl's satisfaction and the sparkle in her eyes. "How'd you fare, TT?"

And so it was Toni's turn to sigh, bracing herself before showing Cheryl her own score. The radiant smile on Cheryl's face was enough of an indication of what was in store, however.

"Flawless, as I've always known you to be." And, even if it was tearing her apart inside, Cheryl was still able to bring a smile to her face. The high regard Cheryl had for her never failed to flatter Toni, or make her feel radiant on better days. 

Today, however, it was like throwing salt on the wound — Cheryl, smiling at her like that, praising her like that, without realizing how upset she was, in reality. 

What prospects did she have for the future? Where could she study, without the financial fund to do it? 

The more she remembered the pain she had long repressed, the more turbulent her emotions became. This time, Cheryl's jubilant laughter served as an arrow to her chest, sealing her fate. And when she turned to kiss her, Toni quickly closed her eyes and met her in the middle, not wanting Cheryl to see the tears sprouting there. 

But Toni could feel the dissonance in their kiss, each in their own tune. She knew that if she stopped now she would probably fall apart, something she definitely didn't want to happen. The wound left by the loss of the Serpents was still very fresh in her chest, and now, learning her time with Cheryl was counted? That she would be left behind to eat dust?

Suddenly the kiss changed, and she knew Cheryl had noticed because of the momentary hesitation in surprise. There was only one way for both of them to get through this moment unharmed, and Toni had already decided not to spoil Cheryl's good day with insurmountable adversities.

So she laid on top of Cheryl and traced with lingering fingers her abdomen, bringing one of her thighs to rest on her hip when she reached it. In that same instant she felt Cheryl's leg pull her closer and her arms hug her back in a tight embrace. Now, _that’s_ more like it. She grabbed Cheryl's waist, pulling her impossibly close, and smirked as she listened to the soft moan.

Cheryl broke off the kiss and tried to meet her gaze, but Toni wasn't about to let her. So she hid her face on Cheryl's neck, taking the opportunity to leave a kiss there. Determined, Cheryl turned Toni’s face toward hers and leaned it against her cheek to whisper in her ear. 

“Is something the matter, T —”

Toni felt that same excruciating pain resurface with full force in her chest. Not willing to talk, she cut Cheryl off with a deep kiss, bringing her closer with a hand on her face.

Apparently, that was enough for Cheryl to understand the message. Neither said anything else for a long time. Messy sheets on the bed, partly scattered on the floor, Cheryl's hoarse voice and the subsequent limp in her walk when everything was done were the only indications of the hours elapsed.

The only indications of Toni's partially intact pride.

After all, if they already had their time counted, it was better for Toni to leave her with some unforgettable memories.

**.....**

**V.**

The day went by rather slowly, much like the ones before had as well. Unfortunately for Toni, it seemed that each day the wound in her chest deepened its root inside her, poisoning her veins and vexing her spirits. Even for someone collected like her, languor was beginning to become apparent.

(And yet, the person she most wanted validation and support from seemed to not realize it).

Other than that, accustomed as she was to not taking root anywhere and spending more time outside than inside, the drastic change of pace at Cheryl's house was beginning to cost her mood as well. 

Even so, there was Toni, by her locker, ruminating her growing disinterest in the following hours as she finished preparing for the next class.

That's when she heard Cheryl's voice resonate down the hallway, ironically acting like a lifeboat, rescuing her from her own deprecating thoughts (even though she herself was one of Toni's reasons for being metaphorically drowning in the first place).

"Attention, students, it's time for the daily announcements. As Riverdale High's first openly-lesbian student body president, I'm announcing the launch of a new club. An LGBTQIA alliance. With the mission to _find_ and support our queer and questioning students."

Toni couldn't be more proud of Cheryl. And to think how far she had come since that unusual encounter, with silent tears and desolate confessions. A small, but one-hundred-percent proud smile blossomed on her face.

"In that spirit, this week's _blind item_ will be _on theme_." An amused smile then took over her face. Bewitched, Toni crossed her legs, holding the strap of her backpack while fondly waiting to see what eccentricity was going through Cheryl's head this time.

"A certain _oh-so-hunky_ , all-American RROTC cadet is afraid to come out of the closet."

In an instant the smile vanished from her face. Had she heard that right? Had Cheryl really just done that? What _was_ she thinking?

" _Well_ , let's show him that Riverdale High is welcoming, so _he_ and his _Broadway_ -loving boyfriend can _finally_ PDA, like _the other_ sex-crazed couples amongst us." _Unbelievable_. Toni shook her head, extremely disappointed and outraged by Cheryl's conduct.

"Also, for lunch today, we're having shepherd's pie. Thank you!" The fake, saccharine tone with which Cheryl finished the transmission was the final straw, leaving her uncompromisingly pissed off. Cheryl was acting as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with what she had just done, even if that couldn't be further from the truth.

Toni was like a hurricane rushing past people, storming around looking for Cheryl in every and each corner of that damned school.

And maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her when she opened the door to one of the girls' bathroom and came across glimpses of reddish orange hair facing one of the mirrors. The same color that was so uniquely Blossom, so Cheryl. _Fucking bingo_.

"What _the hell_ were you _thinking_!?" Toni barked, storming into the bathroom more than ready to give Cheryl a piece of her mind.

"Just now?" She turned to Toni with crossed arms, the perfect image of composure and sweetness. Never before has Toni felt this much desire to knock some sense into her. "About the _sweet_ , sweet revenge I'm going to get on _Mumzie_." Then her voice got a little more gentle and the smile on her face, a little more palatable. _Ugh_. "Hopefully with a little help from you and your trusty camera, oh shutterbug of my dreams."

 _Oh, cut the crap, Cheryl_ , crossed her mind.

"You just outed Moose." That's what came out instead, the accusation cold on her tongue and the bite on her tone rusty with disuse.

"No, I didn't." She still had the audacity to deny it, though she at least seemed a little insecure in her claim now. Even so, Toni's temper flared. "It was a _blind item_ , Toni. For all anyone knows, I wasn't even referring to him." 

Cheryl seemed to have finally grasped the seriousness of the moment, yet she still defended her stance — even if slightly intimidated by Toni's rare affront.

"Moose's _father_ could've heard that announcement." She firmly counterargued, standing her ground.

"Oh, my God. Is this our first fight?" Cheryl asked with a worried, afflicted expression on her face, her voice not even close to what was mere seconds ago — now small and uncertain.

"Cheryl, _get some perspective!_ " Without thinking twice, she disclosed, "Did you _know_ that my uncle hated the fact that I dated girls?" 

Once that old wound was reopened, her emotions grew thunderous within herself. 

"That's why the Serpents were so important to me." Seeing Cheryl's dismayed expression slowed down the assault on her chest a little, and she continued, suddenly as frail as she felt. "They were like my non-judgmental family." Her jaw shifted with the hard truth she had to swallow. "Now I don't have them."

"Toni, I'm sorry." Cheryl said with shimmering eyes and imploring voice, trying to prevent the disagreement from escalating. "I didn't realize."

 _Wrong choice of words, Cheryl, because that's exactly it!_ Toni thought, outraged. _Just as you didn't realize how you hurt me, or how upset I am — how you don't take notice of anything that doesn't immediately have to do with you!_

"Of _course_ you _didn't_!" Toni finally blew up. "Because you're too busy being _Cheryl_ , causing chaos, regardless of the _consequences_." 

Her heart hurt both for herself — resentful of Cheryl's neglect — and Cheryl as well. In spite of everything, she couldn't bear to see her in such a distressed state, knowing full well that she was responsible for it. Toni forced herself to pull herself together.

" _Look_ , babe. I _get_ that you're _mad_ at your _mom_ ," But the blood in her veins began to boil once more, the anguishing pain in her chest stronger than ever. "And you're pissed that you're not going to some _hoity-toity_ college that _I_ could never get _into_ _or_ _afford_!"

"If it's about money —" A lone tear ran down Cheryl's face, and she, along with the desolate tone of her voice, finished breaking Toni's heart.

"Cheryl, _just stop_ and _listen_ to me!" She cried out, promptly shutting Cheryl up. Only then did Toni carry on, resigned. "Highsmith College was _your_ legacy." And, with a choked voice, she concluded, "The Serpents were mine."

Toni reiterated the crux of the matter to Cheryl, silently begging her to understand without Toni having to spell it out.

She lost everything to be with Cheryl, and now Toni didn't even have her — the maddened resentment inside her stressed. If she had only been asked _once_ about how she was with all of this, if she had been consulted _once_ about _their_ future, if Cheryl had noticed _once_ , only once, and supported when it was what she needed most — 

Toni knew that at some point she would have to face the excruciating truth she had been trying to repress in the last few days. So they say — there's no time like the present. Why not start now, huh?

"Now they're not." She finally yielded. 

"Toni," Cheryl tried, hopelessly desperate. "I'll... I'll fix this."

 _Humph, that's good._ If it weren't for the indolence that had seized her, Toni would scoff, skeptical of such a feat, seeming like nothing but fallacy to her. 

And yet...

"What part?" Toni egged on, even if without an ounce of conviction.

"All of it." She spoke softly, shrugging her shoulders, as if, to her, there was simply no other answer. Toni’s heart quavered.

Before she could reply anything at all, Cheryl undid the distance between them, putting herself right in front of Toni, and looked deep into her eyes.

"You are the most _important_ person in my life." Toni felt a warm grip on her chest on the short pause Cheryl gave before proceeding, as if she wanted her words to settle. "I'll do _whatever_ it takes to make all these things right."

Tired and confused about everything that had just transpired, Toni, not knowing what to say and with nothing to add, opted to remain quiet. In fact, nobody said a single word for the next few seconds. 

"But I may need your help." She informed shyly, humbly.

Toni wasn't a fool. She knew very well where all this would lead if she didn't give Cheryl this chance.

Her head hung down as she took a deep breath. As much as she didn't believe it possible to fix everything, Toni never knew Cheryl to be anything less than relentless when chasing after whatever she put her head to. And though she was hurt and disappointed, she wasn't ready _or_ willing to break up with Cheryl. 

Toni met her gaze again, tearful and conflicted. In the end, she gave in — how could she not? —, deciding to cling to any opportunity to save their relationship, tiny as it may be. 

Cheryl tightened the grip around her forearm in a gesture of comfort and assurance, despite it passing anything but that. Without exchanging any other word, the two left the bathroom for their next class, a strange and heavy silence that they never had to deal with before hovering severely between them.

Briefly, Toni faltered, doubting whether the distance between them was bridgeable — or whether it was, in fact, the end of the line. And, even after going different ways, the sorrow in her chest didn't subside.

In fact, it only seemed to increase. 

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you guys have any suggetion on how to improve this, I'd love to hear!
> 
> I hope you're having a great day wherever you are!!! S2


	2. Chapter 2

**VI.**

At first, once Toni had moved into Cheryl's house, their deal had been kept — that is, they had gotten used to sleeping with Toni being the big spoon. 

In the last few days, however, Cheryl had taken upon herself to reverse their sleeping arrangement, cradling Toni close to her chest. Today, for instance, Toni was on her side and Cheryl behind her, holding her tight as she slept. One of her arms stretched out under Toni's neck while the other crossed her torso diagonally, its hand resting on her shoulder.

Toni traced her fingers slightly along Cheryl's forearm and then intertwined their fingers. Immediately, in perfect reaction, Cheryl nestled up to Toni's neck and squeezed her tighter, settling down again soon after. An affectionate smile spread over her face, an unmatched fondness filling her whole body.

She couldn't deny how she liked this arrangement as well.

Whenever Cheryl's soft and warm breaths met the naked skin of her neck, hair-raising shivers were sent down her spine, rekindling the lingering lust of hours passed.

But after a while, the fresh memories of tonight's... _rendezvous_... began to lose steam as slumber arrived, giving way to far more volatile and faltering memories of the past few days, during which Cheryl successfully pulled off her 'mega-plan'.

Well… looking back now, it shouldn't have come as a surprise at all.

Toni let the contentment she felt wash over her, finally allowing herself to close her eyes as she wondered how she had gotten so lucky as to be in a relationship with Cheryl in the first place. Especially her, who was everything Toni had ever wanted in a woman — smart, confident, assertive, sexy, bossy, challenging, and even a little improper.

Cheryl's intoxicating scent took hold of her senses, drawing a broad smile from her. Another wave of affection swept over her as she felt the tickling touch of Cheryl's dusty red hair on her stomach. She loved her so much.

Still... no matter how happy Cheryl had made her by doing what she did, if these days were of any use, it was to show Toni that Cheryl couldn't and shouldn't be everything to her. She couldn't dump all her expectations on Cheryl and have her life revolving around her, or being an extension of hers.

She should have her own space, her own friends and responsibilities. Only then would they be able to have a balanced and fair relationship, without expecting too much from each other. This way there would be no resentment between them, at least as far as these issues were concerned.

Confident in her judgment, for a few seconds she wondered whether Cheryl had reached the same conclusion before putting her plans into action, or if it all had been purely instinctual.

Because, even though this was Cheryl's first relationship — she remembered with an almost reverent, selfish smile —, other than having very little to teach (being emotionally intelligent as Cheryl was…), her girlfriend also had the biggest heart she had ever seen... one that no one besides her seemed to recognize or give due credit for.

Toni could already feel the weight on her eyelids, the pull of dreams, in her elusive consciousness. Her mind, once again fully calm and content, had only one more thought before reality gave way to unconsciousness: the belief that things were getting better. That, from then on, their seemingly rollercoaster of a life could only go up. 

It was smiling from cheek to cheek that she went to sleep that night — forgetting entirely that dreams only exist as long as your eyes are closed to reality.

**.....**

**VII.**

Toni had once heard that a poor man's joy is short-lived. Unfortunately for her, that was exactly her case. 

Indeed, it took very little time for the elation of the past days to reach a sudden end. And, not surprising anyone, brought on by none other than Jughead himself, the proverbial rock on her path.

"You're a Topaz." Said person — sat on the other side of a booth at Pop's, where they had agreed upon meeting — declared, as if only now properly giving her name the consideration it deserved. "Being in the Serpents is your birthright."

 _No shit?_ Where was _all this courtesy_ when he exiled her from the gang as if she were nothing but an example?

"We are a family," He proceeded. "I'd like you to reconsider joining the gang."

Now, Toni wasn't a fool by any means, and knew very well what his angle was. She wasn't about to be swayed by any half-baked introduction that was, in fact, just a pretext for the true stalemate troubling him. 

Since creating the Pretty Poisons, more and more girls were abandoning the Serpents in favor of the new gang, whose purposes were better aligned with their own. And Jughead, like Toni, knew very well that her return to the Serpents implied the coalescence of the two gangs. This would not only allow him to restore the lost numbers, but would also render him new members.

In other words, today's meeting was nothing but a ruse, full of frivolous words that have the sole purpose of bargaining her return to the Serpents. She scoffed internally, not making a point of covering up the bitterness on her face.

"You want me back in the Serpents?" _It's simple_ , she thought, "Make me queen."

Toni narrowed her eyes, sizing him up.

"I mean, since I'm legacy and all, right?"

He sighed patronizingly, which annoyed her even more, especially given the reason why he wouldn't accept her proposal.

"You know I can't do that."

"Because of Betty, right?" The indignation was obvious through the low, sure tone of her voice.

His resigned nod just confirmed what she already knew. 

Toni would never say it, but deep inside she felt a little hurt. In all likelihood, she had never been more than expendable to him, thrown aside without second thought the minute she exceeded her functional use. But that's ok too. Now she was the one who wanted nothing to do with him.

Therefore, not having anything else to offer her, none of what he could possibly say would change her mind.

"Then I'm not coming back." 

Then all of a sudden his whole stance changed. Jughead leaned over the table, hands clasped in front of his face as he watched her closely. Apparently he was going for a different approach.

"What do the Pretty Poisons provide you that the Serpents can't?"

"... An opportunity to lead." She admitted openly. "With the Pretty Poisons, _I_ rule." Ignoring his frown, she continued smugly, as though challenging him. "We're sisterhood."

"You're Cheryl's vanity project, you mean." Jughead promptly shot back.

Her face immediately clouded over at his retort. Ruffled, Toni gave him a dirty look before getting up from the table. Any good feelings left, spoiled by him.

"And you're wrong about the Serpents still being family," She ended on a conclusive note. It was high time she put an end to this waste-of-time of a meeting. "That's what we used to be — not anymore."

She’d make sure Jones paid for this.

And yet… every step towards the establishment’s door highlighted a disconcerting uncertainness growing inside her. Her words were being thoroughly mulled over in her mind, leaving her increasingly cold in its wake. For his words resonated familiarly within herself.

**.**

" _Now_ ... relax, my pretties." Toni heard Cheryl instruct the Poisons in their archery training just outside of Thistlehouse, secretly admiring her as she approached. " _Release_."

The girls fired and, frankly, it wasn't just their impeccable aim that impressed her. 

"Brava." The cause of their success wouldn't come out of her mind (and sight), assuaging her troubles and leaving a smile on her face. Cheryl was so proficient, self assured, steadfast... while all the damn time being so elegant…

She greeted the girls with a passing ‘nice work, Poisons’ from still a little further back. 

"Now go again." Cheryl ordered just as Toni reached her.

At the sound of her voice, Cheryl turned around, welcoming her with a smitten smile across her face.

"They have an excellent mentor, T." She said, ever the _modest_ . She almost shook her head fondly. No, but really, how could _anyone_ argue _against_ that?

But pride and devotion, usually always present in her voice when it came to Cheryl, were now overshadowed by the doubts and apprehensions that had once again taken over her.

"They certainly do, babe..." Her head dropped down on its own accord.

Regardless, much like a dog lifting its head in heed of the owner's call, Toni immediately glanced at Cheryl at the feel of a leather-covered hand caressing her cheek. A kiss in wait to happen. Toni’s heart stumbled.

'You're Cheryl's vanity project...' A voice that in nothing resembled Jughead's suddenly popped in her head. 

Was it really true that, when starting the Pretty Poisons, Cheryl's words and intentions had been nothing but sweet talk, only saying whatever it took to get what she wanted? Had her apology and their reconciliation meant anything at all to her? Did she see the gang as the community she had claimed them to be, or rather as underlings awaiting orders for yet another one of her infamous whims? 

She knew very well how machiavellian Cheryl could be... but cruel? With Toni? And actually manipulate her unscrupulously, in exactly the same way Jughead had attempted to do?

All this occurred to her in one sudden moment. Without even realizing it, her head hung again, unable to keep eye contact while all these doubts ran rampant in her mind, babbling viciously in her ears.

"Something wrong, mon trésor?" Toni's traitorous heart thundered in her chest as a shivering warmth spread all throughout, not yet having gotten used to Cheryl's redoubled and meticulous attention ever since their fight.

"Jughead." She strained to answer, the words coming out unsavorily sour. "He tried to convince me to rejoin the Serpents."

"That worm." Cheryl readily affronted, though as if containing herself somewhat. Then she asked, looking a bit concerned for Toni's trained eyes, "What did you say?"

" _No_ , obviously." Toni replied, mildly unruly. _What did Cheryl expect?_ Nevertheless, she disclosed in a mixture of pure anger and disbelief, “He had the _audacity_ to call us a _vanity project_."

Cheryl was a woman possessed then, although she did try (and, in the end, surprisingly succeeded) in exercising the greatest degree of self-control Toni had ever seen in her. And she did it like a champion, merely pausing to take a (very) deep breath, which also took her by surprise.

This sight led her to dismiss the previous doubts while simultaneously reproaching herself for questioning Cheryl, who had never given her less than sheer love (unlike Jughead, who had used her from the very beginning). 

"But don't worry, babe." She tried to comfort Cheryl by putting out some of the wild fire surely burning inside her (the one Toni loved so very much). "I’m gonna figure out a way to put him in his place." 

This time, the fight was with her, and to top it all off, it was personal.

She refused to be demoralized by a white boy who felt like he could do whatever the hell he wanted, whichever way he pleased, without facing the consequences afterwards. Toni was keen on settling it straight, on teaching Jughead to give her the respect she deserved, and show him what happened to those who messed with her. _Especially_ those who dared drag her relationship with Cheryl into matters.

Without further ado, Toni turned on her heels and stormed out, leaving Cheryl behind to ponder the events of the day.

Or, at least, that's what she thought had happened.

**.**

As soon as she heard the rumors of the events that took place earlier that night, Toni was storming through Thistlehouse's doorstep just to find Cheryl, apparently with _zero_ weight on her conscience, _doing her nails_.

 _Unbelievable_. Cheryl was really unbelievable at times. Or most of the time, if she was being honest.

Every idea and plan of how to best deal with this situation, everything she had spent the day tossing around... all gone. Things had, _once again_ , fled from her control.

No. Who did she want to fool? Truth is, most likely she never had it.

Toni could hardly believe it, but somehow she had let things get to this point — deprived of her own identity and voice, so far from the independent young woman she once considered herself to be. Nothing more than Cheryl's sidekick. And now she couldn't fathom how naive she had been, believing in Cheryl at the price of her doubts, her instinct, _herself_ . Toni scoffed inwardly, _what a joke_.

But most of all, she couldn't quite believe it yet that Cheryl had indeed proved Jughead right. 

She was just Cheryl's vanity project. 

"Hey, TT. Check out my new nail color, called Vigilante Violet." She outstretched her leg, hoisting it up, and dangled the toes theatrically, an exasperating smile both on her face and voice. "What do you think?"

Resembling their fight in the school's bathroom (the familiarity of the occasion didn't escape her mind), Toni cut right to the chase.

"I heard what you and the girls did to Sweet Pea and Fangs." She accused in a serious tone. And the fact her best friends from the old gang, who had _nothing_ to do with _any_ of this, were _the_ chosen casualties to Cheryl’s outburst? _Oh_ , she better not test her patience tonight.

Cheryl shifted uncomfortably from where she sat on the sofa so she could better face Toni.

"The Serpents needed to know the Pretty Poisons are here to stay, and we're not to be trifled with." She explained softly, as if she had been reduced to the frightened little girl she might still be deep down.

Very well, but —

" _I said_ I was going to handle it!" And, if Cheryl hadn't been wary of the impending fight yet, by the looks of her face, she definitely was now. "The purpose of our gang isn't to _air out_ your petty grievances or to _pursue_ your personal vendettas." Toni burst out, inflamed, accusing her while, at the same time, establishing it at once and for all. "It's for _protection_ and community."

"I was _sending_ a message, planting a flag." Cheryl quickly justified, as though trying to excuse herself, her voice laden with the haste of distress.

But it didn't matter anymore, because Toni no longer was interested in it. The heat that once seemed to be pumping through her veins, inciting her, had now faded like smoke on open air, leaving behind, instead of ashes, only a prevailing, crippling tiredness.

"Cut the crap, Cheryl. Let me ask you this," Toni braced herself, nearly numb, for the answer. Then she inquired, casting a sharp look at her, "Is this gang _mine_ or _yours_?"

By the way her gaze dropped and her head hung, Toni already had her answer. 

Not that she had expected otherwise, but — _damn_ this hope…! Toni really wanted to be wrong.

"It's... Yours, of course." Cheryl lied at the last moment, after a brief hesitation. Or maybe she gave in at that moment, one couldn't know for sure. But, then again, it didn’t make a difference to Toni anymore.

"Then never deploy the Poisons that way again without asking me." She enforced, deadly quiet. "Is that clear?"

"As a bottle of sparkling San Junipero water." 

Cheryl's glistening eyes, the previous gesture of cleaning the teeth with her tongue (that Toni knew signalized her discomfort) and her tiny but overwhelmed voice touched some fragile and unprotected part of her heart, previously hardened and loaded. Even so, Toni didn't waver in her resoluteness.

Before any other word could be uttered, or a tear shed, Toni withdrew from the premises as quickly as she had arrived. The only certainty anchoring her to the moment now was the fact that, from now on — she thought with clenched teeth and stiff fists —, she would find a way to distance herself from Cheryl and get her space back, her self-image. Whatever it takes.

And, that night, one side of the bed was already occupied when the other was taken, a miles-long, unseen barrier acutely separating them. 

Toni fell asleep that night pondering where things had started to go so wrong.

.

.


End file.
